I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This baby is an asshole
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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