Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
