Kiss
Puke
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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