Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize