My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
