Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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