we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
