do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He passed out mid-signature
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
