Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
