Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
