I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
