Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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