So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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