I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
wanna go halves on a baby?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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