just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
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Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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