so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
