Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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