Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
