john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize