I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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