i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
