Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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