he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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