your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
