if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
