i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize