dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
