Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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