Who did Billy Mays play for?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
