Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
