You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
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Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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