Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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