I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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