hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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