I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
