I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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