i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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