yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
