I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize