Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
