She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
