Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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