its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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