Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
