you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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