if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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