I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
