We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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