Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
