O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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