I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize