we're blogging at a bar
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
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