There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
