Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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