it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just high enough for therapy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
