all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
