Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
