that's an acceptable place to lick
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My dick has a subreddit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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