just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
