forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
