I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
