Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
