Just fell off a train. Bad.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize