dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
