My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
