He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we're making bets on your personal life
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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