she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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