you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
