Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just high enough for therapy.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
