After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
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If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
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The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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