Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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