My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
