his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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