clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
