she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
